When I first thought about writing this post, two names came to my mind, What is a Woman and The Enigma of Woman. But I felt that both these names spell masculine bias. Woman has always been treated by men as a mere thing or an incomprehensible enigma. Such a stance is bound to do injustice to women. But ironically, both these phrases are names of two books written by women about women. The former is by Toril Moi and the latter by Sarah Kofman.

Traditionally, men have always preferred to treat women either as a thing, which resulted in their exploitation or as an enigma, which resulted in romanticism. What women desire, lies beyond both consequences.

But who am I to decide?

Obviously, I have no authority to say the final word on these matters. But I do feel that most women will agree with my view that subordination and romanticisation is not that which they truly desire.

Then, what does a woman desire?

Does a woman desires most of all to be desired?

I don't think so. That would to too superficial.

Another question:
Is this desire which defines woman?


Woman is the very incarnation of desire?

Desire is feminine.

Possession is masculine.

Thats why men throughout the history have been hunters, predators, emperors and colonialists.
And what women did all the time?
They are said to be the originators of agriculture.
Agriculture needs patience, faith and empathy.

Today, modern woman is in crisis because she is trying to imitate man with all her might. And she is losing herself, her most precious gifts, in this abominable game of imitation.

French militant feminists like Kristeva, Irigaray and Cixous have called women to stop this imitation and be themselves, independent of what men think about them. Its indeed a great step. Women, in their originality, are more beautiful than this culture of glamor can make them. These extraordinarily wise women are suggesting that women should evolve their distinctive
personalities based on a matriarchal culture.

For the finest gift which women have is that of motherhood. Mothers sustain this earth and life itself. This abode of humanity will definitely change for better when women recognize the beauty of motherhood and realize that their true self can be expressed only through becoming mothers rather than mere morsels in men's mouths.


  1. my desire is to be free from such peceptions so that i can independently explore my own capacity to rise.

    i think women are built to be able to handle a multitude of tasks/direction effectively ...they donot need to imitate men...those qualities are already inbuilt...but the ability of one to function at such a level is enabled by spirituality (not in the sense of religion but more self/inner-understanding) if you get what i mean

    in my opinion these qualities have been delberately suppressed (not only phsyically but also socially and psychologically)by men over the centuries because of fear (also showing the characteristic of wanting to control)...when a women is at her heighest capacity .... she can't be stopped, she has the capacity to change anything.

    our accepted standards of the "feminine" are built upon social perceptions...maybe we need assess women spiritually, then all would see...

    note: i agree with what your saying about motherhood etc...but i hate it when a female's capacity is constricted to this role...because there is so much more women can offer.

  2. -Dear anonymous, motherhood is not just giving birth, or just any other activity. It is creation itself, a microcosom. It is not an act/role, but more of a disposition/process, a way of being in the world.

  3. Hi Prabhsharan,

    A day before, there was 4 comments, but now 2 comments.where were the rest 2?Those are very good.

  4. Hi Anonymous,

    Actually, I have a bad habit of doing two things at one time. Whenever I talk on phone, I simultaneously do something on the net. But, at that time, my mind remains on phone. So, sometimes I end up doing things which I never intend to do. Yesterday, I did the same thing and I lost a really beautiful comment. Then, I tried a lot to recover it, but unfortunately, it was not possible.
    Then I decided to delete the second comment also, which was a response of first comment.
    I would like to see that comment again, if H. is generous enough to do so.

  5. Aiight, here we go again Mr.P - Just like the creator, woman vastness is in ability to love and be loved. Through that love, comes many emotions, but love itself seems like the only emotion that requires least of effort to express, unlike anger or other ego driven emotions.
    To be intune with nature and creator is to accept and bring love in ones life, especially the unbiased love!

  6. Many Many thanks Harkiran for your vast generosity. I think what is most difficult in life is to espouse the ideal of unbiased love.
    Accept my congratulations and feel fortunate for being able to do this.

    ਜਾਇ ਪੁਛਹੁ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਤੁਸੀ ਰਾਵਿਆ ਕਿਨੀ ਗੁਣੀ॥
    ਸਹਜਿ ਸੰਤੋਖਿ ਸੀਗਾਰੀਆ ਮਿਠਾ ਬੋਲਣੀ ॥
    ਪਿਰੁ ਰੀਸਾਲੂ ਤਾ ਮਿਲੈ ਜਾ ਗੁਰ ਕਾ ਸਬਦੁ ਸੁਣੀ ॥੨॥

  7. I have bad habit of beng a bit of spoilsport when other's try to 'fly off' a little. What i mean is i feel the urge to bring others back to ground, the reality(by that i do not mean the Zen/Buddhist one but the mundane/run-of-the-mill/
    everyday/regular/humdrum reality). So here goes:
    There is no need to mystify Woman. Neither man nor woman are mystic naturally. Individuals are/maybe mystic; not the species on whole.

    And as far as man vs. woman debate goes i have known(by 'knowing' the women i have 'known') that the best and worst(nay despicable/evil/downright selfishness) can be found everywhere and anywhere.
    But my 'experience' of course is just my 'experience' and everyone has different experience/s. I have a lot more to say but won't(everybody knows what goes around)
    And Prabhsharan if you choose to delete this comment I would think that you did the right thing by deleting a cynical viewpoint.

  8. Nanbudh,

    What has disappointed is the fact that you are not cynical enough.
    You need to get some more doses of cynicism. I would advise you to go to Nietzsche for this. He is the cynic par excellence.
    But beware, his nihilism can get hold of your sensitive mind. So, meet him with necessary precautions.

    You say:

    And as far as man vs. woman debate goes i have known(by 'knowing' the women i have 'known') that the best and worst(nay despicable/evil/downright selfishness) can be found everywhere and anywhere.

    You have fallen in the same trap of the discourse of equality of women. The most mundane and down to earth fact about this debate is the very difference between men and women.

    And I will be very thankful to you if you tell me where in my post i have mystified women. In the very beginning, I have suggested that to think woman as a mystery or enigma is to fall into romanticism which ultimately leads to nihilism.

    AS regarding your cynicism and the deletion of your comment i would say that cynicism is the refusal of someone to to accept the "false truths", by which i mean those truths which are fabricated by structures of power. Modernity is a procession of such fabricated truths.
    I am unable to understand why you are continuing to participate in the procession?

  9. You are right prabhsharan I was not clear enough. Apologies for hastily written comment. Sometimes my personal viewpoint spout out in an unacceptable manner.
    And my comment was related more with the comments on your post.
    One sees and meets people all around. One forms opinions based on these(which I think is a legitimate way of gaining knowledge). Zillions of dollars and xyz currency businesses are being run by men. Countless action are being taken to acquire money, power, pleasure and such like things. So not only women but men are equally, if not more defined by desire.

    [qoute]when a women is at her heighest capacity .... she can't be stopped, she has the capacity to change anything. [/quote]

    Now I think this is again mystifying the image of women.

    [quote]maybe we need assess women spiritually, then all would see[/quote]

    Don't we see all around that we, both women and men are full of common failings? And to think that women as a whole are spiritually predisposed to something higher?
    Are women are different from men? Yes, i believe it as a living fact, not just an idea I agree with. But I(like all others) have known/seen people who are alcoholics, drug-addicts, stupid, sex-overdriven, use-n-discard-others and exploitative. And this set contains many women in it. I would not give special status to either women or men. We are all in 'it' and at the same time we are different both at the individual level and the gender level.
    I would leave it at this.

    Prabhsharan, you are definitely a person with a beautiful mind and as far as my comments go:
    meri awaaz parda hai mere chehre ka,
    main hun khamosh jahaan mujhko wahaan say suniye.
    I really do not express myself well.

    Nietshe? yaar, time hi nai hai. But book issue kara laina haan. Thoda jeha hi sahi.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

ਸਿੱਖ ਸੰਘਰਸ਼ ਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬ ਦੇ ਖੱਬੇਪੱਖੀ ਚਿੰਤਨ ਦਾ ਸੰਕਟ

ਆਧੁਨਿਕਤਾ, ਬਰਬਰਤਾ, ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਕਵਿਤਾ

ਮਾਂ! ਮੈਨੂੰ ਫੈਸਲਾ ਕਰਕੇ ਦੱਸ ਕਿ ਮੈਂ ਹੁਣ ਕੀ ਕਰਾਂ ?